so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
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i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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