im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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