i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My pussy is not your playground.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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