Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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