she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
