So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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