Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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