I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
