How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
