He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
