The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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