Umm I'm too high to move.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Randomize
