I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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