he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Blow job season was short but glorious.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
