i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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