he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
