I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
