I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Come share oat with me in your robe
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
