and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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