i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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