Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
