people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize