Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
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All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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