2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
