The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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