And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
