If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
