I think my vagina is haunted
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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