there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
