ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
