Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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