I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
