dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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