He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
