Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize