You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
