Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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