He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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