operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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