I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
