tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
