my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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