So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
