Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
That's intense
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize