C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
