Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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