Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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