I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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