..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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