He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
