i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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