Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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