Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
