My nipple is on Facebook.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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