Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm passing your future prison.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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