Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Will exercising make me less horny?
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