I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
