This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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