thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize